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lyrics

October 9th of last year standing in 40 degrees. When you needed me the most I drove down 309, how low can somebody sink? But I still hope you’re taking care of yourself, cause lord knows I’ve been trying to. I wish I showed you that I loved you more but it seems like you’re doing just fine without me. I slid on black ice on 76, the last time I’d been concussed was sometime last year in August. I smashed it against the walls in your house when they’d sweat, the silence in the living room kept me awake as we slept. I used to measure every single mile like every single one was killing me, but now I feel like I can’t get far enough away. I can’t get far the fuck enough away. Your ghost still haunts my head and I’m digging up the bones of what we once were because I can’t shake the feeling that every night I feel like I’m better off dead. But I’ll always be just the sum of my failures, and that’s all I’ll ever be to you and to every single person around me. But, tonight I’ll breathe your name in for the first time in a year and you’re making me sick to my fucking stomach. Tonight I’ll smoke a cigarette for the first time in weeks because breathing in cancer tastes better than the air that reminds me of you.

credits

from Martyr: A Recital of Self​-​Destruction, released July 20, 2018

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AM0RA Doylestown, Pennsylvania

Billy Zee-Vocals
Tristan Wikler-Guitar/Vocals
Bryan Rodriguez-Drums/vocals
Chris Swanson-Guitar/vocals
Nick Magidson-Bass/vocals

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